New Episode of TV TERRORS!

Its been awhile for TV Terrors but here is a brand new episode! and yes it is another Tales from the Crypt review. This time the funniest episode of the crypt..the season 5 episode “Death of Some Salesmen” starring TIM CURRY! in three roles!

TERROR TV – TALES FROM THE CRYPT – Forever Ambergris

Foreever AmbergrisTales from the Crypt had a variety of different horror sub-genres throughout the show, there were plenty of rotting ghoul n zombie episodes, plenty of gory murder and double crossing episodes, a few supernatural and monster filled episodes. But a season 5 episode titled ” Forever Ambergris” was the shows only “Body-horror” episode with truly gruesome body horror scenes.

“Forever Ambergris” is about a jaded and once great war time photographer named Dalton (played by the Who’s Roger Daltrey) who is losing his touch and has to take a new apprentice Ike (played by Steve Buscemi) who has been showing real talent and promise with his war time pictures. It isnt long before they are in South America and hearing of a village that has been destroyed by germ warfare. Dalton tricks Ike into going to the village alone to get the pictures knowing that Ike will die from the disease. It isnt long before Ike begings to decompose and melt alive from the disease while Dalton watches and takes his pictures for himself. All goes well for him when he heads home and then seduces Ike’s grief stricken girlfriend Bobbi ( played by Blonde Bombshell Lysette Anthony) and in true Tales from the Crypt fashion Bobbi has a gruesome surprise waiting for Dalton.

Now before i get into the gruesome stuff one of the great aspects of this episode is the acting from the two leads Roger Daltrey and Steve Buscemi. Buscemi is believable and always entertaining and Daltrey actually does a good job as the scheming back stabbing antagonist.

But the real shine of this episode is the gruesome body horror scenes. we see pulsating bubbling skin, veins bursting out, plenty of blood, a eyeball oozing itself out of its socket that would make Lucio Fulci proud, skin and fleshing rotting away and a characters nose falling off into a bathroom sink! the body-horror scenes are truly fun and revolting.

So Crypt fans who want a revolting episode with good acting should look no further then the season 5 episode “Forever Ambergris

  • James J. Coker

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

IMG_20160214_100206_9890Hey there dear horrorfiends! James J. Coker here wishing you all a happy Valentines day. If you have that special someone in your life then why not sit down and enjoy some Valentines Day slasher movies together like the My Bloody Valentines movies.

Now I tried to watch another Valentines day slasher movie that came out during the last year of the SCREAM boom to review for this blog on this holiday but i just couldnt like it. alot of Horror fans watch this slasher film on V-day and say they like it but i just couldnt. I am referring to the 2001 slasher film VALENTINE.

Valentine

I tried to put this one in a “Underrated Horror for Valentines Day” title but as i was watching it last night I just couldnt really defend the film. I found it to be a paint by the numbers Scream clone with unlikable characters and goreless death scenes. But thats just me horrorfiends!

 

anyways I hope you all have a Good Valentines day and if your single…fuck it still watch the my bloody valentine movies, There alot of fun.

Harry Warden

A “CRYPTEE” gift for Christmas Eve – Twas the Fright before Christmas

MI0001878669Yes dear horrorfiends I know posting this it is not Christmas Eve just yet but hey Christmas eve is going to be very busy for me so im getting this done now. Instead of a usual Christmas horror movie for Christmas Eve i decided to show you all a little Tales from the Crypt nugget from the 90s for Christmas Eve.

Back in 1994 John Kassir voiced the Cryptkeeper for a Tales from the Crypt CHRISTMAS ALBUM!!! yes a Cryptkeeper Christmas album. And since it is the Cryptkeeper you can expect gory and ghoulish “pun” versions of christmas classic like ” we’d wish you’d bury the missus” or “Deck the halls with parts of Charlie” he he he he he

But the best part of the whole album is a Cryptkeeper style rendition of the classic twas the night before Christmas poem but instead this time it is “Twas the FRIGHT before Christmas” in which the Cryptkeeper lays out booby traps for Santa but learns some heartfelt christmas spirit in the process. It is a fun and ghoulish little listen for your christmas eve dear horror fiends and a gift i wanted to share with you all. Give it a little down below

P.S. the Tales from the Crypt Christmas album is LONG OUT OF PRINT and goes quite pricey online.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN HORROFIENDS! TV TERROR FOR HALLOWEEN – THE CRYPT JAM !

Cryptkeeper loves BootyThe day is finally here horror fiends! ITS HALLOWEEN !!!! the greatest of all holidays..well at least for horror fans. So for this Halloween post instead of a obscure Halloween movie to share with you all I will instead treat you to a very special, and pretty obscure little nugget of Tales from the Crypt goodness for you. A nugget so awesome and incredibly cheesy it will make a good Halloween treat…that is the rare Tales from the Crypt music video THE CRYPT JAM!

Back in the early 90s on Halloween, I believe it was Halloween 1992 or Halloween 1993, HBO would air a Tales from the Crypt marathon for Halloween night and my father would record them on VHS tape. Well during the marathon between a number of the episodes they were airing it would show a Tales from the Crypt music video called “the Crypt Jam” this music video was very much in the style of the “house Party” or cheesy party hip hop of the early 90s…but with the CryptKeeper !

Believe me horror fiends! i loved seeing this amazing piece of 90s horror goodness as a kid and to this day I still love it. We are treated to a silhouette of the cryptkeeper, back up dancers, zombie dancers, party goers dancing in the Cryptkeepers crypt on a dance floor with the Cryptkeeper (the guy has alot of surprises in his crypt) The Cryptkeeper in a variety of early 90s hip hop outfits, severed foots and skulls dancing, a variety of clips from all the monstrous scenes from the episodes between season 1 to season 4 and finally my personal favorite scene from this gold nugget… The Cryptkeeper singing and checking out on of the back up dancers ass in close up…. so now you know the Cryptkeeper is an ass man.

So happy Halloween my dear horror fiends, may your night be filled with costume dreams, candy delights and pumpkin spirits and enjoy this little golden cheese nugget from the Cryptkeeper for your Halloween – James J. Coker

P.S. i took the liberty of uploading the original early 90s version of the crypt Jam and NOT the edited season 3 dvd release that only shows clips from the third season, enjoy down below.

 

TERROR TV – Tales from the Crypt – House of Horrors

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Probably the best episode from Season 5 of “Tales from the Crypt.” House of Horrors is about three fraternity pledges who are challenged to enter an old mansion that is allegedly haunted by the ghost of an axe murderer. What’s so likable about this episode is it’s incredibly spooky atmosphere combined with gore and a twist ending that is so “Tales from the Crypt.” However the best part is Kevin Dillon who steals the show as the Pledge Master. He is incredibly obnoxious and an effective Asshole. Don’t worry its “Tales from the Crypt.” He gets his just reward at the end hehehehehehe

-James J. Coker