12 SLAYS OF CHRISTMAS – 4TH SLAY – UNDERRATED GEM – JACK FROST

jackfrostAround the same era Michael Keaton was seen in the family-friendly Christmas film of the same name, filmmaker Michael Cooney was crafting his own version of the yuletide legend. Much like the aforementioned film and as its poster suggests, this film is about a snowman. However instead of the former “Batman” actor discovering the true meaning of family in the afterlife, this one focuses on tying that same family up while gutting them. Pretty cold of him, I know. Needless to say, this film flew right under the radar upon release, and the Keaton film being released a year later did not help the situation. However for the few and the many who have experienced this pleasantly corny, so-bad-it’s-absolutely fantastic slasher, they can easily admit that it has long been robbed of its well deserved credit.

The film opens as infamous serial killer, Jack Frost, has been captured by the pigs and is being chauffeured via armored car to his execution. Due to careless driving during a violent snow storm, Frost’s execution comes both early and never. After an accident you’d think only Stuntman Mike could survive, Jack ends up fusing his molecular build up with the very snow he brutally dissolves in, all with the aid of an experimental chemical agent which the truck had been conveniently transporting as well. The film is a cold tale of revenge as the frigid killer decides to exact revenge on not only the cop who put him away, but the entire Twin Peaks size town he calls his home. Well, that’s enough exposition. After all, ’tis the season of giving, and the one answer we all want for Christmas is yes, this gem does deliver.

The movie works well because it does not take itself seriously at all. Thanks to this, you’re in for some of the best kills and one-liners in the entire snowman slasher genre(cause that’s a thing). There’s no way you cannot enjoy the results of Jack “axe-ing” someone for a smoke, or witnessing in action the new definitions of both “frost bite” and “brain freeze”. And lest we forget the now classic love scene(or rape, whichever)between the 7” tall evil snowman and a pre-American Pie Shannon Elizabeth(which before being in a film depicting sex with pastries, she was in this one, which strangely involved her and sex with a different food group all together). With this knowledge at hand, you too will be able to answer the question displayed mid-credits asking: “Where was the carrot in the bath scene?”

Extremely funny and never stuck at a dull moment, the surprisingly dynamic storytelling and happy go lucky execution of the plot makes this one an absolute delight, as well as a prime example of a good time. Arguably, the best aspect of this feature is that it focuses much more on the horror aspects of the film as opposed to its Christmas themes, making it a joy to watch anytime of the year. This is definitely something that many other niche holiday movies can take notes on. After realizing that it simply contains everything you’d ever want out of a general slasher flick, accompanied with a basic knowledge of its more popular contemporaries to choose from, you’ll be baffled at how this highly enjoyable entry to the X-mas horror category hasn’t been considered a classic ever since its sadly overshadowed creation.

– Sterling “The Spork Guy” Anno

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About The Spork Guy

Born in Fullerton, CA and having inhabited every county neighboring it at one point in time, Sterling is a Southern Californian gypsy on a personal mission to challenge the postmodern definition of "Art". Underground filmmaker, illustrator, project coordinator and promoter of punk rock music; Sterling considers himself to be anything but an artist. Sterling is currently Manager of Operations for the Oceanside International Film Festival and has a hand in making sure other great makers of cinema find their audience. He has had a stake in honoring various influential entities with lifetime achievement awards such as; animator Everett Peck, non-ficton filmmaker Jeffrey Durkin and iconic voice actor Jon St. John. Besides working for OIFF, Sterling has also lent his abilities to the Temecula Valley Film and Music Festival as well as Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation.

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